Are You Embarrassed By Your Older Women Expertise? Here is What To Do

Are You Embarrassed By Your Older Women Expertise? Here is What To Do

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Iris Krasnow hit the best-seller list a dozen years ago with her raw portrait of modern coupledom, “Surrendering to Marriage.” It was one in a series of non fiction books that have reflected Krasnow’s journey through life. She first became an author in her 30’s as a journalist with four children under three. Next, as she matured, came one on self-discovery and her book on the challenges of staying married. Her topic: balancing work and family.

Now, at 60 almost, Krasnow is the author of the new book “Sex After… . .” In it, she investigates how people sustain intimacy while facing the challenges of life-stage transitions. She asked more than 150 men, experts and women, “What will be sex like after childbirth, menopause, breast cancer and turning 60, 70 or 80? ”

How Many Older Women Try Same Sex Sex

And wow! Did she get answers.

Why Do Men Like Older Women

Senior Planet spoke to Krasnow just two weeks after “Sex After…” arrived in bookstores and started getting attention from sources as varied as “O” the Oprah Magazine and the Washington Post.

You’re in a long marriage and you’re approaching 60. How do you feel about sexuality now and did you find a common thread among the older women you interviewed?

How To Seduce Older Women

Over 35 years, thousands of people have told me the most intimate details of their lives. These women were enjoying more sexual satisfaction and intimacy than they did in their youth. Women possess talked to me about shattering the myth that after menopause you have low libido.

Women are living longer than ever, they’re outliving their partners and companions normally, and they’re dating again. Because of the extended life cycle, because of better drugs, because of heightened fitness levels, girls have proven to be not only lifestyle they’re also life much better a bit longer.

I love growing older. I experience extra vibrant and energetic and aspirant than actually.

Your book is filled with surprises, but perhaps none as revealing as those in the chapter “Giddy Golden Girls.” Since you’ve been writing about relationships for 35 years, was there anything that surprised you when talking to those women over 70?

Why Men Like Older Women

I talked to young people who were shocked at old ladies having sex. I consider the surprise for me was about the power of intimacy over the electric power of sex also. And another party of persons that state there’t, “They do it. That’s great, but I carry outn’t wanp to know about it. ” And there’t me - I on understood it had been moving, but I didn’t know the extent of it.

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This need for intimacy is a major theme running through “Sex After… But you also say that sex will be a bridge to intimacy. So one can lead the other and vice versa? .” You write about how closeness advances and frequently would make making love much better later on inside of living.

Why Do Older Women Not Want Sex

Sex is never just sex. And I didn’t talk to one person over 60 who was single and dating and wasn’t looking for both the sexual chemwill betry and the emotional commitment. Twenty-year-olds who are ‘hooking up’ will be hoping the sexual chemistry will lead to some kind of emotional connection beyond the physical hookup.

One of the experts you quote, Dr. Melanie Davis, co-president of the Sexuality and Aging Consortium, says, “A pervasive myth is that older women stop wanting to be sexually active after menopause… It’s also a myth that the quality of sex declines with age.”

Even though we’re in 2014, the photograph of the sexless grandmother nonetheless is available. I’ve met the spunkiest, virtually all sexually productive ladies who happen to be in their 70’h and 80’h. These women are sturdy and energetic and care about sex.

Older Women Who Want To Have Sex

Another myth is that will be that “happily ever after” just happens automatically. You definitely need to have to set making love on your to-do listing. People have to remember to be sexual. It calls for work and do the job; it’s a process.

Why Women Like Older Men

Some women reading about the giddy golden girls - those seniors in your book who are having the best sex ever - may feel they’re somehow not up to par if they don’t want to have sex several times a week.

Why Do Some Men Like Older Women

Sexuality matters to us until the day we die. You want to communicate your sexual expectations, overall performance and dreams amounts to your lover and for your companion to come to be on the equal site. How we manifest that is different for every woman. There will be no gold standard. What matters the most is how you feel about your sexuality, your level of desire and your libido. Problems arwill bee when you don’t match. There is no perfect sex life.

There are women who happen to be post-menopausal, have lost their libido and don’t want to be on hormones or use the “vaginator” that stretches female sex organs. There were a few women I interviewed who were in intimate relationships with men whose libido matched theirs. They had zero interest in sex and were happy just hiking in the woods.

What about the sexuality of a woman who doesn’t have a partner and may not want one?

Why Do Older Women Lose Interest In Sex

One woman I spoke to had been married a long time, got experienced a wonderful intercourse life and today can’t imagine staying with another man. Some females simply under no circumstances believed of pleasuring themselves. Move to the opera We’ll. They grew up feeling it was naughty and had a complete lot of remorse about it. I’ll play tennis. I’ll golf. For them, this is a new adventure. But I don’t want a person in my cargo box.” She is the person who gets a vibrator, and it may get her initially. She says, “I’m not interested just.

Vibrator sales are huge. You can be told by me that a big chunk of that industry is sales to girls over 60.

Why Do Younger Women Like Older Men

Several of the older couples in your book are masters of “outercourse” or are attempting to master it. Is that a new expressed expression you produced up? What will it exactly guarantee?

Outercourse is a word that I heard over and over again among people active in the sexuality-and-aging field. It’s playful and comes in handy as you age quite. everything but. It’s pleasuring each other with sexy talk. Perhaps it’s erotica or sex toys. It means “everything but… ” It’s lovemaking without penetration, but that involves kwill besing, nuzzling, hugging, oral sex…

Where To Find Older Women For Sex

That’s really what many women enjoy - young and old: taking your time and exploring each other physically. One 70-year old woman attended a Tantric sex workshop with her husband where they were exploring conscious loving, not slam-bam sex just.

I love the idea of a kind of naughty, playful, arousing alternative to hot sex, which isn’t always possible. And by the way, it’s not always possible for people in their 30’s either, or right after you’ve had a baby.

And men? Their ability to perform changes with age, too, and, as you point out, after prostate surgery.

There is the 85-year-old Viagra King who wants to be rock hard, but I’ve interviewed 43-year- old men who are taking Viagra for performance will besues. Everyone will be therefore uneasy in this community. Part of the success in sexual intimacy and sustaining a relationship is being able to relax and feel comfortable and nurtured by the person you’re with. One of the most profound messages in my book is to pick the right person in the first place.

Prostate issues are really important. Soloway is a big proponent of active surveillance. I interviewed one of the best urologists in the region, Dr. Mark Soloway, JUST NAKED OLDER WOMEN PIC and his warning to all men is don’t be so quick to go under the knife. If you’re 73 and you have a slow-growing cancer, it’s probably not going to kill you. (Click here to learn more about active surveillance for prostate cancer. That’t a good really important communication for adult men with a good large females and PSA with newly diagnosed adult men.

Another expert you talked with, Deborah Nichols, a board-certified women’s health nurse practitioner, says older women lose the tingling sensation of being aroused and have to rethink the nature of desire. Does that sensation weaken in men, too?

How Do Older Women Get In Mood For Sex

In the end, it’s all about blood flow. Look at the obese man sitting on the couch and slugging back beers who can’t get it up. Give it a try. Of going to a physician and getting five prescriptions Instead, get on a treadmill buddy and stop eating the fettuccine with five-cheese sauces! Men receive an erection from bloodstream move.

I’d say the same thing to a woman. And it’s got to be more and more, honey, as you get older. As I get older, I eat less and I exercise more.

How To Meet Older Women

“Sex After…Women Share How Intimacy Changes as Life Changes” (Gotham Books) is available now in hardcover, for Kindle and as an audiobook. Find it on Amazon.

Have more questions about sex for seniors? Subscribe now (do it here) and performn’t miss a single column! Every month Senior Planet’s award-winning senior making lovepert Joan Price answers questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues.